Saturday, October 17, 2009
Today and yesterday i make darling super angry with me during work and even now when she at work i think she is super damn piss off with me.
yesterday when she come and fetch me from work.
while waiting for me to finish work,she told me she going to her friend's birthday party.and it is held at one of the pub.
i suddenly feel so angry and lonely.
then we started quarreling.
i don't wanna her to go to her friend birthday party.
i wanna her to accompany me talking on msn.
i don't wanna her to leave my side.
so ya.
i dunno what wrong with me today.
whenever i see her talking to someone else or disturbing other,i will be so damn piss off with her.
i will be feeling jealous and thinking can you stop disturbing other because i will feel jealous.
we have talk about this problem last time.
it her nature to disturb other during work.there nothing she can do about it.
i know and i have told myself don't mind so much about it.
there nothing to mind at all.
but today i totally lost my cold and i show it out.
i showed her my attitude this morning.
this morning i was totally very bored.
saw her coming in to work and when she look at me,i just give her those very moody look.
then during work i actually told her that we are going out tomorrow since it the last day of my holiday.
i wanna to spend it with her only.
but then she asked clara whether they wanna to tag along.
when i heard her said that i was kinda of piss off.
because i only wanna to spend time with her and no one else.
and then i though she know what i mean by asking her out.
maybe it my fault that i never state clearly that it a date.
after work,i suddenly changed the plan because of angry.
and she is piss off with me because i suddenly change the plan.
i know she will be piss off with me but then i still do it.
so ya.
this few days i really don't know what wrong with me.
i keep making her angry and i am very very moody.i feel so lonely.
so ya.
i keep wanting to have her by my side for every minutes,every seconds and every hours.
and keep her all to myself.i don't wanna anyone to go near her.i am been over protective and i never act like this before.
i don't know why i becoming like this.
this problem have happened again and again.
i know it impossible for us to stay under the same roof.
there nothing we can do about it but to find time for each other.
and darling have tried quite hard to find time for me since her school reopen.
she got a big project waiting for her to do and it her final year.
so ya.
i just simply love her too much that i becoming very very selfish.
i wanna her everything including the time she spending.
but i know if this go on,our r/s might end up with unhappiness.
i have to be a lot more considerate than now.
i have to make some changes of myself.
but there one thing i cannot change and that is i can't stop loving her too much.
hope everything can be solve after talking to her later on on the phone.
i don't wanna to feel angry,lonely and moody anymore until i keep showing her my anger.
and keep making her angry.
